Embrace the Chaos: Enjoying the Messy Moments of Motherhood

This article originally appeared on Newsymom social site.

Becoming a mother completely changed my life. I think every single mom can relate. Motherhood is bound to bring chaos, but if you can see through it, there’s unlimited beauty in our role as “Mom,” too.

Do I always, no matter the circumstance or behavior, love my daughter? Yes. Absolutely yes. Do I always love being a mom? No way. You can love your babies and feel like you’re drowning in the chaos of motherhood. Instagram might be perfectly edited and framed, but our lives are not. How can you find joy in something that seems so imperfect?

First and foremost, you are not alone, mama.

Motherhood is tough. If you have a tiny baby, you’re likely dealing with no sleep and lots of hormones. If your kids are toddler or school-age, you’re likely dealing with big feels, unruly emotions, and random tantrums. If you’re the mother of a teen? God Bless you. I’m not there yet and not prepared for that stage. Regardless of where you’re at and who you’re raising, you are not alone and It. Is. Hard. One more time for those in the back: IT IS HARD.

So what can we do? What makes motherhood easier or, dare I say it, enjoyable? I’m sure you’ve had moments like when your baby first said “mama” or took those beginning steps, but what can we do to make every day a good day? (Ok, maybe not every day.)

It sounds cliché, but it’s all about perspective. It’s time to shift your perspective. Yes, days are long and sleep is elusive and kids are w.i.l.d. But you are tough and you are loved and you were made to be these little humans’ mom. No one loves or needs you like your kids do—and while that may feel overwhelming at times, it really is so special.

There’s not much I can do about the chaos, but here are some helpful steps to enjoy motherhood and life with your family:

• Stop comparing your life to everyone else. If mommy bloggers and Instagram influencers are making you upset with their neutral décor and perfectly planned outings, stop looking at them! You don’t have to like, subscribe, and follow. You can unplug, unfollow, and un-care. I’ll be honest, I had to stop watching Joanna Gaines and her perfectly manicured family when I first had my daughter—and my mental health improved.
• Include your kiddos in day-to-day chores – and relax if things aren’t done perfectly.
• Put your phone down. I don’t know about you, but when I mindlessly scroll it’s often to subconsciously disassociate… and it ends up making me more anxious.
• Think about what you need to “fill your cup” and prioritize it. Whether it’s consistent sleep, alone time, exercise, or reading, identify the things that makes you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Make that thing a priority.
• Practice gratitude.
• Remember your kids are still learning. Babies are figuring everything out. Toddlers are learning about their (BIG) emotions and how to interact with other humans. Kids and teens are learning the facts of life. When you remind yourself that your kids are doing their best and learning at their own pace, it’s a little easier to have some grace for their growing brains and bodies.

Being a mom is not easy, but it’s much harder when you forget to invest in you. You’re not going to get it right every time and sometimes you may feel like you’re drowning in the chaos, but you are doing great. There is no better mom for your kids than you. And you deserve to feel joy, relief, and grace in the midst of that motherhood chaos.