In a world of Pinterest-perfect parties, spotless playrooms, elaborate snack boards, and perfectly edited outings, it can feel a little intimidating to host a new (or old!) friend for a playdate.
Here’s the good news: Your playdate doesn’t have to be perfect.
Your house doesn’t have to be spotless. You don’t need coordinating snacks, a themed craft, or three hours of carefully scheduled activities. Your kids probably aren’t going to notice whether you dusted the baseboards—and your mom friend probably won’t either!
A successful playdate really just needs to provide a safe, comfortable place for children to play, interact, and have some fun.
Playdates can also give children opportunities to practice important social skills. Sharing toys, taking turns, solving little disagreements, trying something new, and simply learning how to play alongside another child are all part of growing up.
And sometimes a playdate is just as beneficial for Mom or Dad. Having another adult to talk to while the kids play can be a welcome break from the normal routine.
So take some of the pressure off yourself. Here are a few simple ways to make your next playdate fun and relatively stress-free.
1. Don’t Overplan
This may be the most important tip of all.
You don’t need to schedule every minute of a playdate. In fact, some of the best playdates happen when kids are simply given time and space to play.
If the children are babies or toddlers, they may need a little more direction and supervision. Set out a few age-appropriate toys, books, blocks, or activities and position the parents nearby.
Older children will probably have plenty of their own ideas. Stay close enough to help—or referee!—when necessary, but give them a little room to use their imaginations.
Building a blanket fort might turn into playing house, which might turn into a stuffed-animal hospital, which might somehow turn into everyone pretending to be dinosaurs.
Just go with it.
2. Talk About the Details Ahead of Time
A little communication can prevent a lot of awkwardness.
What time will the playdate begin and end? Will the other parent stay? Will you be serving lunch? Will you be playing outside? Are there pets in the house?
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents discuss things like supervision, household rules, pets, allergies, swimming pools, trampolines, and other safety considerations before a child visits another home. You can find its helpful list of questions here: 5 Questions to Ask Before a Playdate.
This doesn’t have to feel like an interrogation! A quick conversation or text can make sure everyone knows what to expect.
3. Serve Snacks That Are Simple but Yummy
You don’t need to create a Pinterest-worthy grazing board for preschoolers.
Think simple: fruit, cheese, crackers, yogurt, applesauce, veggies and dip, or another easy favorite.
But always ask about food allergies or dietary restrictions before your guests arrive. Food allergies can be serious, and even small amounts of an allergen can cause a reaction in some children. (HealthyChildren.org)
Try a simple text:
“I’m grabbing some snacks for tomorrow. Any allergies or foods you’d rather I avoid?”
Easy!
And if another parent sends a special snack for their child, don’t take offense. They may simply be managing an allergy, sensitivity, medical need, or family preference.
4. Make Your Intentions Clear
Do you expect the other parent to stay during the playdate?
Discuss that beforehand when the plans are made. A parent dropping off a child when you expected her to stay—or staying for three hours when you expected a drop-off—can make things uncomfortable for everyone.
Also mention anything that might require special clothing.
Planning water balloons, sprinklers, finger paints, mud pies, cookie decorating, or some other wonderfully messy activity?
Give Mom or Dad a heads-up. They can veto anything too wild or simply send along a change of clothes.
5. Put Away the “Special” Toys
If your child has one beloved toy that absolutely, positively cannot be touched by another human being, this might be a good time to put it away.
Sharing is a skill children learn over time, and expecting a toddler to happily hand over his most prized possession may be setting everyone up for frustration.
Instead, put out toys that are easy to share: blocks, cars, dolls, pretend food, balls, dress-up clothes, puzzles, or art supplies.
6. Have One Backup Activity
You don’t need an itinerary, but having one idea in your back pocket can be a lifesaver when things start going downhill.
“Who wants to go outside and draw with sidewalk chalk?”
Suddenly, everyone has forgotten the argument over the red truck.
Your backup activity can be incredibly simple: bubbles, Play-Doh, coloring pages, music, or a quick walk around the block.
7. Get Them Moving
When the energy level starts climbing, channel it!
The CDC recommends that young children have plenty of opportunities to be physically active throughout the day, and active play can be as simple as running, jumping, climbing, dancing, or playing on a playground. (CDC)
A backyard game of tag, dance party, obstacle course, or trip to the park can give kids an appropriate outlet for all that energy.
Bonus: they may sleep better that night!
8. Expect a Little Conflict
Two small children playing together peacefully for hours without a single disagreement?
If you’ve witnessed this miracle, congratulations!
For the rest of us, expect some squabbles.
Someone will want the same toy. Someone won’t want to share. Someone will change the rules of the game halfway through. Someone may cry.
Give children a chance to work through minor disagreements when appropriate, stepping in when they need help staying safe or solving the problem.
Playdates aren’t just about entertainment. They’re opportunities to practice friendship.
9. Keep the First Playdate Short
If the children don’t know each other well—or they’re very young—don’t feel obligated to make the playdate an all-day event.
An hour or two may be plenty.
Ending while everyone is still having fun can be much easier than stretching things until children are hungry, exhausted, and melting down.
You can always schedule another playdate!
10. Don’t Be Afraid to Call It
Sometimes it simply isn’t working.
If your child woke up on the wrong side of the bed, is struggling to share, and has just emerged from tantrum number three, it might be time to call it.
Don’t feel embarrassed or upset. These things happen.
Children get tired. They get overstimulated. They have bad days. Sometimes our kids’ moods just don’t line up with our carefully made plans.
A simple, “I think we’re running out of steam today—let’s try again soon!” is perfectly okay.
Fun Playdate Activities
Still looking for inspiration? Try one of these easy activities:
- Have a dance party.
- Build a blanket fort.
- Bake and decorate cookies.
- Play card games or board games.
- Host a scavenger hunt.
- Set up an indoor or outdoor obstacle course.
- Blow bubbles outside.
- Decorate the driveway with sidewalk chalk.
- Have a teddy bear picnic.
- Set up a simple craft table.
- Play dress-up.
- Build something with blocks or LEGO.
- Read books and act out the characters.
- Have a backyard ball game.
- Create a sensory bin for younger children.
- And my personal favorite: meet at the park!
Meeting at a playground is especially nice for a first playdate because nobody has to clean the house, the kids have plenty to do, and both families can leave whenever they’re ready.
Remember: Connection, Not Perfection
Years from now, your child isn’t going to remember whether there were crumbs underneath the kitchen table or whether you served homemade muffins instead of Goldfish crackers.
They’ll remember the friend who came over.
They’ll remember building the enormous blanket fort, running through the sprinkler, dancing around the living room, decorating the crooked cookies, or laughing hysterically at something the adults didn’t find remotely funny.
And you may remember something too: sitting across from another mom or dad and having an actual grown-up conversation while your children played nearby.
That’s the beauty of a playdate.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It doesn’t have to be Instagram-worthy. And it definitely doesn’t have to be perfect.
Keep it simple. Keep it safe. Let the kids play—and enjoy the company.